Leftover Chinese Apologizes to his Food and Mentions a Few Things



When it came time to reach for the modest pot of chicken soup, I checked the 'fridge. It was at that moment I realized where I had left the soup the evening before; camped out on the rangetop waiting to be stored. This the second time I've done this to the addicting soup. So much care is taken in preparing the soup, that I'll actually talk to it. I guess I owe it an apology.

So I found out today that when I'm not at practice or somewhere other than my house on a weeknight, the national networks air prime time programming. This doesn't happen too often so I had to take notice. I didn't quite get the whole story from Heros in one episode and that Sunset Strip show is all 'blah-blah-internet' followed by swiftly delivered 'well-well-well-ebay' and even quicker 'wah-wah-wah-sex.' I'd probably watch it again.

We're nearing the end of the month. Did you remember to turn over your mattress?

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Leftover Chinese and a few Surreal Moments


A short performance by Redman of 'How High' and Right Guard Sportstick fame sponsored by Toyota Scion was enjoyed by all. Redman thanked the crowd for showing up to a show as VIP members of list or other. "I don't know how you did it, but y'all did something to get in here." I'm assuming Toyota's people told his people that this somehow cost attendees.


(photo by Ms. B)

A shorter appearance on public access television was a laugh riot. The expeirence was as wierd as it was fun. Niece Vivian was too scared to dance with the other kids, but she had a good time.

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Leftover Chinese and the Nigerian Spam Letter

David Diller Associate.
Tel: +234-805-6279920

Dear Sir,

I am the personal attorney to Mrs. Rose Lo, who died from Automobile accident further investigation, found out that she died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace her next of kin was fruitless. Mrs. Rose deposited Nine Million Dollars with Central bank of Nigeria. With deposit code: CBNFGNFFMPHCJ04.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that she did not declare any kin or relations in all her official documents, including her Bank Deposit paperwork in Central bank of Nigeria (CBN). This sum of US$ 9,000,000.00 is still sitting in Central bank of Nigeria (CBN).

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the next of kin to her fund, so that the fruits of this old woman's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. I will stand as an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your (NAME) for the transfer. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by me and with my position as the attorney.
I needed is your assistance as stated below:

1. Your full name and address.

2. Age and occupation.

David Diller Barrister.
Tel: +234-805-6279920

Not sure where the last name came from...but if it was random, that's pretty good. My last name isn't on my profile or on anything associated with that e-mail....or is it?

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Leftover Chinese Went on a Photo Hunt



zzzzt.

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Leftover Chinese has Another Case of the Fridays

So much for my amazing plan to run myself back into playing weight. The temps dropped below 30 in the past few days and my diet has gone back to bar food and its ugly step sister, fast food. Yikes. Ho well...we'll try this again tomorrow.
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In attending a corporate rah-rah meeting yesterday at 4:30, I expected the more of the same stuff. The big boss says something, everybody claps, boss says something else, everybody claps, boss injects humor, everybody laughs then applauds, etc. etc.

This time around the obligatory "everybody is so happy to work here" photo montage was accompanied by that OK GO treadmill video song. I guess it's an improvement over the Black Eyed Peas' 'let's get retarded'.

Did you know that OK GO borrowed the chords from The Knack's 'My Sharona'? That's what the guy behind me said. I was too bored to turn around or nod in semi-agreement.

Since the company meeting was about how much more awesome everybody is because it bought a rival, the Big Boss shared a few hugs with the new Co-Big Boss. The first (of a few) overtly public hug seemed genuine until it lasted about ten seconds too long. Sigh.
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I'd have more here, but I'm too pre-occupied in studying "texas hold them." Never before have I regretted ignoring my statistics studies. I still don't know how to compare odds.

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Leftover Chinese Randomly Recalls a Moment from Television

As I watched the folks from Lakeshore Public Television ask for money during a timeout of a locally televised Big 10 college basketball game (a genius move) tonight, a certain PBS show based in the twin cities came to mind.

I remember the theme song used to always leave me a little unsettled. I probably associated it with the end of children's programming during the afternoon and the beginning of programming beyond my comprehension. The animated laboratory tools and Newton's head didn't help things either.

Regardless, I watched the opening credits on youtube and was immediately compelled to find the song. It's a nice jam produced by the folks who brought you Turbo's boom dance.

A temporary sample for you can be had here.

doot-doot-doot doot do-do-doot
doot-doot-doot doot do-do-doot
doot-doot-doot doot do-do-doot

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Leftover Chinese Won't let Winter get to You


Lake Michigan (Sheboygan, WI)


Kohler Andrae State Park

Standing on the icy walk during a brisk snow storm, or hiking the state park this past weekend was nice. I haven't felt warm since.

(thanks, fotoshop)

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Leftover Chinese: Got a Case of the Fridays

So I left my tube of hand lotion at home this morning because with one foot out the door, I applied some to my cracked-skin and forgot to put the lotion back in my man-purse. Cracked skin near the finger tips is especially annoying because I actually need that skin to play instruments. So guess what I did during lunch today? Yep...purchased a bottle of lotion. That brings the amount of bottles that I own to THREE. Is there some sort of "man rule" about that?
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In participating in my first ever "texas-hold-them" poker tournament last night, I learned two things. First, a skeevy moustache and stocking cap apparently says "Hey look at me, I'm a real poker player." The experienced sharks didn't know what to make of me and assumed I knew what I was doing at all times. Of course I didn't let them in on this fact, so I get to continue the con next time. I eventually busted out and finished 12th out of 18. That leads to the second lesson: I got a hell of a lot to learn about this game. Those TV shows all make sense now.
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An old friend is trying the online dating thing and he's asked for my input. He sent excerpts from a farily long e-mail, and without his permission I will now share with you excerpts of my translation or commentary:

~ Letter: "in this case, i'm going to continue to try and wrestle some good tidbits out of that brain of yours."[emoticon]
Translation: "The next two emails will determine if I want to meet you and, by extension, possibly sleep with you."

~ Letter: "i'm a USAF brat and was transplanted here about 10 years ago."
Translation: "I have trouble staying in one place / relationship, but I do love a man in uniform."

~ Letter: "i've got more tastebuds than the normal person"
Translation: "I'll try anything once. Anything."

~ Letter: "i can also be a homebody/busybody and i also like getting out and seeing music..."
Translation: [generic generic generic]

~ Letter: "...such as incubus this month..."
My Commentary: *barf*

~ Letter: "...a couple months ago was rancid (i missed out on the thievery corporation a little while back, unfortunately)... among a few other things."
Translation: "If you study the bands I list here, you can probably bet I have a lot of guy friends."

~ Letter: "i'm long-winded over email, but in person, i tend to be more of the quiet type."
My Commentary: The longer the email, the faster you should run becuase you'll have nothing to talk about in person and that's no fun, is it?
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In response to comments left to the New Years Eve video clip: Yes, that is flan..and yes, I'm wearing the imfamous linen wedding suit. The Flan was good and the suit will be worn until it falls apart. I didn't spend $125 to have an Thai internet suit taylor make me a suit to wear once. It's turned into my NYE/Joke suit.
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This morning, I ate a package of Pez candy without using the dispenser. I don't think that's against the rules, but I'm told otherwise. What's the rule on that?

Hrm...time to moisturize.

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Leftover Chinese Posts a Crossword Puzzle

Since it's been so long since I completed one, I can't scan them correctly. Luckily I made up for it by using neat penmanship during the homebound commute.



Nothing really spectacular about this one; no garfield references like yesterday, not even something confounding enough to look up in the dictionary (except for 'rill'). The puzzle is as boring as my day.

I did, however, find a dollar bill during this evening's jog. It was folded up near the elementary school where the street meets the sidewalk. When I was in elementary school losing a dollar was a fairly tragic event. If it did belong to a child, I might as well do the dollar justice with a charitable donation...or a payment to the lottery commmission. We'll see.

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Leftover Chinese Thanks Technology



Thanks to technology, I can spend time during the day to see what types of shapes I can make with my jog routes. I can run letters, numbers, odd shapes. I could probably find a continuous path of a few miles without being more than a half mile away from my place. This particular jaunt is just a hair over three miles. I did some exacting math with this distance and I could probably stand to run as if I were in some sort of hurry. Yeah...that's a lot of people.

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Leftover Chinese Resolves to Mock the Present

I'm definitely guilty of back-posting, but whatever. It's not like you the reader catch these updates in real time. The idea for "yesterday's" post crossed my mind last night. Just kidding. I could list more resolutions, but I'd probably repeat last year's set of resolutions.

I guess my goals now are as follows:

- Find a new car while I can still get rid of my current car.
- Get back to my mid summer playing weight.
- Sip less coffee in the mornings.
- Sleep more.
- Test the markets.
- Think of a really good story to take back to the 10 year HS reunion.
- Consume more vegetables.
- Go on more adventures.
- Come up with more hilarious theme months to keep me interested in maintaining this web log.
- etc. etc.

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Leftover Chinese Resolves to Mock the Past

Every year, people wage internal battles about resolutions and hope to accomplish that feat in twelve calendar months. In most cases, such promises aren't close to being met and people are left wondering why they didn't follow through. I see life change as a gradual process and not something as simple as reorganizing the broom closet in a matter of weeks. It takes a lot of time to grow new habits into actual life routines. Let's take a look at my 2004 resolutions and see if I've made any of these changes in the three years since then:

Five Easily breakable New Years Resolutions

5. Start running soon
4. Use the Roof
3. Join a Band
2. Explore the City
1. Save Money

Three Years Later:

5. Yep : Ran half the 2004 Chicago Marathon and have been a jogger off and on since then. Might even start it back up tonight. CHECK PLUS

4. Use the Roof : No longer applicable as of June of '04, but I did have a good time up there. CHECK

3. Join a Band : heh. CHECK

2. Explore the City : I definitely know more about the city than I did in 2004. There's still more to see, but I'll save the boat tours for the last week I'm here. CHECK

1. Save Money : Back then I didn't have much outside of my checking account. There is now a savings account and a tiny retirement fund. I know I could do better, but these things take time. CHECK

Take that, 2004 resolutions. I did it!

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Leftover Chinese Says Happy 2007

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