Leftover Chinese Likes his Car a Little Less Each Day

No, I don't take her for granted...at least I don't think I do. I get the oil changed every three to five thousand miles. I keep the air filter clean and top all fluids. I wash when necessary and during each change of season, I'll take her to the car-wash place for a solid vaccum job. Lately I've made an effort not to start every intersection like a race.

When I got my entire front-brake system replaced two weeks ago, I claimed that I didn't hear any squeaking when the pads wore off. I didn't notice the grinding sound until I got off the Interstate in DeKalb. Maybe I did hear them and chose not to. New brakes are not cheap.

Back in October, I would shut down the motor and smell fresh gas. I just assumed I was going crazy. Either somebody was doing a bad job of siphoning my gas tank, or it must be the other cars. Again, I ignored the warning sign. Not until this month when the entire back-seat area featured fresh gas aroma did I decide to take a closer look. New Fuel pumps are not cheap either.

Perhaps I do take her for granted.

Over the past two weeks and three garages, I've spent my way back to normalcy. Good times.

Anybody want to buy a Dodge?

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Leftover Chinese Remembers (or tries to recall)


Grace and Jose circa 1980-1984
I bet they were a classy couple back in the hey-day. Wherever they are now, I hope they're back together.

E: "What are 'Lola' and 'Lolo's' names?"
R: "Grace...and Jose."
E: "ah..."

That conversation went on this morning as I sent my parents off to the Philippines on short notice to grieve with the rest of the family over the passing of my Father's Mother. I've got a lot to learn about my extended family.

Being 8,000 miles away, my contact to Grace and Jose was limited to a few weeks in the 1980's (and the memories fewer). Without the grandparent/grandson relationship present in our world, my brothers and I don't really know how to react. Each of my brothers took the news in stride. I think I'm sad, but also accepting and over it.

All I know about her is that she seemed strong and that she won my dad's favorite ring off a US Serviceman during the War. I guess her game was poker.

I was lucky to see Grace in 2002 for a day or two. Confined to a wheelchair, mostly asleep, and barely able to speak or see, we didn't get a chance to communicate much. I was told the alzheimers condition wouldn't be much help, either. My dad said after Jose passed away in the mid 90's, she sort of 'lost interest.' She was sharp as a tack until that point.

One afternoon, they rolled her out to the street and I sat next to her. A passing woman stopped and said hello. She said she remembers Grace from the days they ran a store out of the house. Though appearing really annoyed (in retrospect probably frustrated that she couldn't communicate back), I'm sure Grace appreciated the hello.

Then my dad pulled out a picture of us boys and he explained who each person was. She kept shooting my father confused looks but as he repeated the roster, tears started streaming from her face. Something registered. It was good.

When it was time to depart the house and head back to Manila, I stopped to see her resting on her bed. With a playful expression on his face, my uncle was telling her he was taking my parents and I to the store. Her peturbed expression said: "Don't pull that shit on me. I know you're leaving."

It was my turn to greet her so I knelt by her bed, took her hand and said farewell. She looked ready to fall back to sleep, so I began my exit from the bedside. Grace clenched my hand and using a strong hand, she yanked me back towards her. She said with a smile and clear, strong voice: "Happy Trip!"

Happy Trip lola Grace. Say Hi to lolo Jose for me.

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Leftover Chinese is Confused by the Weather



We'll try not to get sunburn here in the midwest.

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Leftover Chinese Sent Plenty of Mail

I'm not saying the joke is getting old, but this is year number five of the annual holiday card joke and the 'awesome-spontaneous-idea-well' is starting to get dry. That being said, I was faced with the "when do we get your card?" question much earlier than before so the pressure is on me to provide a good greeting. I will never get remotely close to the simple hilarity of 2003, but the popularity seems to be at a peak (as well as the expensive of creating the greeting).

Last year, a few close friends and relatives were disappointed after being unintentionally left off the list. When I realized my mistake, I had already exhausted my supply. To avoid another round of uncomfortable conversations, I ordered 125 cards this year. Sixty-seven were dropped in mail a few moments ago, so that leaves a cushion of...a lot. There are STILL a few more addresses to track down by the end of the week so if friends out there don't think I have your address, float it by me.

I noticed that a lot of cards are headed to the zip codes '60618' and '60622'. I like that my chicago friends live in two specific neighborhoods. We're either lazy or stuck-up about the neighborhoods around here. I'm not sure which.

Alternatively, if you're a random reader (haha..yeah, right) and want a personalized greeting card, send info to the address to leftover.chinese at yahoo. Don't worry, I won't visit your house without throwing a brick through the window first.

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Leftover Chinese Wishes the Drunks had more Dignity

Seriously.

After a hugely successful evening at the monthly dance party, I found myself at the McD's drive-in. Nothing like nuggets to close out the evening.

We were behind a person in a striped shirt standing at the order box trying to get the attention of the clerk while his friend with the white shirt sat at the edge of the parking lot. Let's call one guy Mr. Stripe and his inebriated friend Mr. White.

I didn't think fast food restaurants honored standing customers at their drive-in windows, but at 3:15 in the morning a dollar is a dollar. I did what anybody else would do in this situation and opened my window to listen to the hilarity.

After not getting any answers at the order box, our Mr. Stripe made his way to the drive-in window. Being at the order box, we could see what they were ordering. It seemed enough food for more than two people. Meanwhile Mr. White sat at the edge of the parking lot pleading with his friend to take him home. The pleas went unanswered.

Eventually Mr. Stripe placed his order and turned around to find that his buddy wandered away. I stuck my head out of the window pointed west and said : "he went that way."

We placed our order and while waiting for our food, Mr. White came back and it had appeared that he fell backwards into mud. Mr. Stripe had received his food and they shared a laugh. Then things got funny.

As they walked eastward towards wherever they were going, Mr. Stripe tried feeding Mr. White french fries. Being that they were drunk, coordination and depth perception proved to be too steep an obstacle and Mr. White couldn't catch a few of the fries with his mouth. The fries hit the ground.

Ms. B: "Oh no...please don't eat them."
E: "C'mon...eat 'em!"

Mr. White bent down, picked them up and actually did eat a few of the fries. We're not talking "two-second rule" here, folks. He spent a few seconds deciding what to do. I probably ate fries from the same batch and well...they were fresh....but that doesn't mean they were good off the ground.

Heh.

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Leftover Chinese and the Double Post

(posted on the WWB)

In reverse alphabetical order, I offer you my

Top 2006 Albums and recurring Beetle Bailey plotlines:

+ Secret Machines - Ten Silver Drops / Killer Diller hits on Miss Buxley yet again.
+ Rick Ross - Port of Miami / Beetle has the day off, but still gets his ass kicked.
+ The Radio Department - Pet Grief / Beetle cons the Chaplain into doing his work for him.
+ Mew - And the Glass Handed Kites / Sarge falls off a cliff and hangs on to a shrub.
+ Mastodon - Blood Mountain / Sarge savagely beats Beetle Bailey.
+ Mark Mallman - Between the Devil and Middle C / The Camp goes on a long march and Beetle winds up angering Sarge.
+ Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor / The joke is on Lt. Fuzz because he's too uptight and Sarge can't help but put him in a comically compromising position.
+ Hot Chip - The Warning / Zero's slack-jawed ingornace proves to be humorous.
+ Gnarls Barkely - St. Elsewhere / Miss Buxley and Miss Blips make fun of men.
+ Clipse - Hell Hath no Fury / Cookie's newest dish is the topic of discussion.
+ Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit / Sarge and Otto have a garfieldesque conversation.

Honorable mention to the Comets in the Sky for 'Avatar'. I left that off the original list.
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Went to see National Hockey League action last night and was surrounded by a bunch of brutes. Don't get me wrong, I like to unleash a primal scream every now and then, but if it's going to be constant screaming for 60 minutes...it won't be about the following things: 1) skating, 2) chasing a puck, 3) standing in front of people seated behind me, being insulted when they tell me to sit down, turning around to say "yous not a fan...f'n N" (sigh), 4) getting out of "the pen", 5) berating an injured athlete, 6) hockey.
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Tonight will be my first night to myself in weeks. No practice, no social obligation, no nothing. NOTHING. Don't even try to call me because I won't answer. I will celebrate by vacuuming my apartment, broiling myself a steak, and a hopefully successful stint on the couch of that will take more than twenty minutes. I think there's an electric piano somewhere in my apartment too.
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Getting new brakes on my car today. The money spent is more than I'd like, but a necessary evil. The gas fume smell, on the other hand, could be trouble. Looks like I should capitalize on the sweet deal I got on this car and put it back on the market. Anybody out there interested in driving a Dodge?
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Yeah, I should post more...stay tuned for more of this.

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Leftover Chinese Concludes

No. I didn't sleep in my suit friday night. I managed to hang my pants correctly, too. I'm not sure how long it's been since I took the suit to the cleaners. I should look into that.

I'm not sure if a jar of Kim-Chee has a long shelf life, but a few crunchy leaves sure hit the spot just now. I'm guessing if it's crispy, it's still good. I should look into that.

My car makes a horrendous grinding sound when I brake and the rear of the cabin smells of gas fumes after trips. I should look into that.

I've been hearing the phrase "in my mind's eye..." more and more these days. Where did that come from? I should look into that.

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Leftover Chinese Keeps on Keeping on

So the company holiday party is going on tonight. That means schmoozing, drinking, schmoozing, drinking, and possibly more schmoozing. Based on my prior experience playing this game and knowing what I know now...I'll probably sleep in my suit tonight.
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We're definitely in one of 'those stretches' right now: Three shows, four rehearsals and a hockey game in the next eight days. That's before considering watching the Bucks at the United Center next Friday. Sanity...still here.
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The other night, I tried to watch Syriana. I'm not sure if it was the cold, or not being quite ready for it, but we turned it off about 45 minutes into the set-up. Me and Ms. B then stopped to discuss whether or not we were smart enough to watch this movie; higher education degrees be damned.
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The spontaneous idea machine finally came through for me again last night so the holiday card has been shot. Pending some touch-up work (of which I have no business attempting), all cards will be ordered and hopefully received in the next ten days. I'll have to order a surplus of cards this year. Peoples' feelings where hurt over not receiving cards last year. Never did I think it would ever come to that. Wow. Sorry and I'll make sure everybody gets a holiday greeting.
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My fantasy football team was left out in the cold this season due to having a bad set of receivers. So long, money. You did a good job wasting a good amount of time for me.

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Leftover Chinese is Cold



Brr. Winter is overrated. Everybody should drink some soup. I guess I shouldn't complain since the cold is compounded by its relative position to the mild weather that dominated November...that and I've developed my first cold this season. Will tonight's leftover pizza and mountain dew cure what ails me? Stay tuned.

Though the franchise became somewhat of a joke by the time Ivan Drago was punching a wall that flashed a number (or when Clubber Lang showed up), the original Rocky was actually quite earnest. It won three oscars. The 'train harder' song didn't show up until the last half of the movie. That was news to me.

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Leftover Chinese Changes Seasons

What? It was like sixty degrees a week ago? Now it's slushing out and I'm wondering if I'm at the age where I should have a pair of snow boots for walking around. Time for a Friday scatterbrain.

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Last evening, I made a sprint from the conference room to the concert hall. It's the closest the day job and night career have come to directly interfering with each other while not being able to do anything about it. Luckily my boss said he had to get to a "PTA meeting" and I soon followed him out the door. Being the consummate professional, I just said "I have a 'thing' to get to as well."

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Remember about this time last year I talked about taking the long way home from the train station to get myself a little bit of exercise? Well thanks to the transit authority's devious plans to ruin our lives (sarcasm), I have NO CHOICE in the matter. The closest stop to my abode will be shut down for a YEAR, so I'm stuck finding alternate stations to commute to work. On the plus side, I'll get some exercise. On the minus side, I'll probably hate my job more.

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Three people gave me birthday gifts last week. More than half of those presents related to crossword puzzles and/or scrabble word games. The nerdiness continues to grow.

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Regarding nerdiness, the comic-strip blog hunt continues. Check these out in order of decreasing hilarity:
- Marmaduke Explained : takes a look what our ol' buddy Marmaduke is up to with a summary of less than 500 words.
- What's so Funny? Not golf. : this dissects all golf-related comic strip panels and why they're not funny (unless you think golf jokes are funny).
- Comics Curmudgeon : A few gems in this one (although it seems to have a huge audience). But I prefer the blogs that mock only one strip.

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So I'm cheering up the place this evening and I'm listening to classical radio. They aired a live radio session featuring a Double Bass player originally from China. He's also Northwestern faculty. Between songs, the host would ask a few questions and the guy seemed pretty nervous. There was a definite language barrier. The host would ask about intangible things and get literal answers.

Eventually it came to discussing Zhang's repertoire. The host, with that snooty hyper-intellectual tone you only hear on classical radio, said that he's known to include traditional Japanese music in his music. Zhang was asked to discuss this.

I stopped what I was doing.

The nervousness disappeared. Zhang calmly made it clear that it was actually Chinese traditional music in his set. Not Japanese. He was pretty firm about this distinction.

Then I laughed. I guess nobody's immune to the all-look-same condition.

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