Leftover Chinese Dreams about Cats and Mice then Feels Sick

Lately, I've been having memorable dreams. I've never been much of a dream recaller, but they've been intersting to say the least.

In last night's dream, I found myself in my kitchen looking underneath my sink and found one of those plastic mouse traps you find in offices (the crawl in variety). There was a mouse in the box staring back at me. My cat was next to me and sort of stared back at it. A few more mice showed up to the party and after some taunting, they retreated to a hole in the wall. Next, I look around myself and I'm in a combination of my current apartment and my last Madison, WI apartment. The latter doubled as a mouse hotel (at one point, I'd catch/kill at LEAST a mouse a day) during the last few months of my residence there, so that makes sense. My cat would chase some of the mice but not all of them.

Now, I've heard people say that when housecats kill their prey, they tend to present them as gifts to their owners. Of course, this semi-truth gets included in my dreams and after the cat and I discover the mice, I'm finding mashed up balls of GREEN goo and guts all over my apartment. I recall thinking that it was strange that the insides of the mice were green.

I don't remember the last time I had a guts dream, but even worse...I'm faced with the reality that I dream about my cat. Sigh.

After writing the previous paragraphs, I can sort of recall the 'rotting mouse' odor and it's making me nauseous...but BUT today's puzzle on page 73:



- Despite having TWO HOURS to complete yesterday's puzzle while the CTA system broke down, I couldn't finish it.
- The only reason I figured out 10 Down (Fit to Drink) was because it was a category on SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy sketches way back when.
- 5 Across (Unwelcome Poke) is a five letter word that starts with G...I thought it was Grope.
- 43 Across (Of Birds) begs the question: Whatever happened to the fashionable Avian Flu?
- It took me a few mistakes to figure out 17 Across (King of Skull Island). I feel pretty stupid.
- I originally interpreted 41 down (Ditches) to mean 'Abandons.' We're shown the same number of letters and a fitting helper: the N in 55 Across (MIT Grad). Damn ye, UFS.
- Vocab words of the day: 67 Across (Demeanor), 51 Across (Condescending) and the clue, not the answer, to 35 Across (Seraglio)...Seraglio...Seraglio...

It's my mom's birthday today. Hooray!

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Leftover Chinese Uses Correction Fluid


[Today's Page 83]

In order to make the puzzle easier to read, I used white out. I used to play with Liquid Paper when I was a kid. It got it all over everything around the house. As you can see, I never really improved on my correction fluid skills.

- 2 Down (Actor - Baldwin), 51 Down (Diet Spread), and 59 Down (Jai - ) have been the most commonly used clues since I got into the crossword thing back in college. I've also seen 'Sir - Guinness'
- I originally thought 20 Across should have been 'oceanfloor' because the clue was 'Where to pet a ray'. Then I made "too soon" jokes to myself because of the recent death of the crocodile hunter.
- Vocab words of the day : 'Physics Particle' (41 Down) and 'Cisco Kid Movie' (32 Down).
- I don't think 28 down is the correct answer to 'Hair Rinse' but the words that make it up make more sense.
- Despite 'Octopuses' being a funnier word, 10 Down (Squid kin) is the correct way to make plural our 8 legged friends.

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Leftover Chinese Wants to Ruin Your Fun

Frustrated? Can't wait until tomorrow morning to figure that clue out? Will you probably forget to check for answers?



Found on Page 71 of today's Sun-Times. But why now? Why this newspaper?

On the way to the train, I would usually take the Redeye's crossword puzzle and toss the rest. The extended variety section that passes as news to the 20-something commuter crowd never appealed to me as a satisfactory source of news information. So in hopes of conserving at east a little bit of the paper resource, I bought an affordable subscription to a newspaper that a) contains more articles than briefs; and b) supports my eldest brother's 'anti-tribune-because-he's-anti-conservative-bias-because-he's-kinda-paranoid' stance.

So a few times a week I'll spoil your fun and give you the answer key ahead of time with stupid comments such as:

- I don't like the word 'Puce'(42 down)
- Augured is the vocab word of the day (44 across)
- 'Pull' made more sense to me than 'Fill' based on the clue (36 across 'Do a dentist's job')
- 'Vetos' [sic] was horribly incorrect and frustrated that section of the puzzle (30 down)
- 'Renee' (17 Across) was the answer to "Ms. Zellwegger" I would have had the right answer if the clue was also "Ms. Face"

and so on and so forth...these get more difficult as the week goes on and one day, I hope to be good enough to complete NYT puzzles...someday...

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Leftover Chinese and the ComEd-Venture

It appears as if a battle is looming with the local utility company over the fate of my electricity bills. You see, I moved in July. Over the internet and telephone, I told them where exactly I was moving and on what date. I didn't get a utility bill for a while and didn't think any of it until I received a letter four weeks after it had been sent to a "Unit H" in my building. The letter had been stamped "no forwarding address" because well, I didn't move from the "Unit H." I made the correction on my account's mailing address, but the last bill I received was still for a meter tied to the mysterious "Unit H."

I called them up explained the situation and was asked numerous times if the power was turned on. Of course it's turned on...I would have called earlier if it weren't. It's been almost two months.

Utility: "You'll be getting a new welcome kit and new bill. Can we help you out with anything else?"
Leftover Chinese: "Yeah, what's unit H?"
Utility: "It's the hallway lights."
Leftover Chinese: "Um, okay. So then I assume I'll be back billed on my unit, but will I be credited for payments made on 'Unit H'?"
Utility: "Yes."
Leftover Chinese: "What happens to the billing for Unit H? Does it go back to the landlord?"
Utility: "Well, we set up an automatic payment plan with that, so you'll have to have your landlord call us."
Leftover Chinese: "Um...Ok."

Leftover Chinese Internal Monologue: "So, I have to call my landlord to fix your mistake."

I predict either of the two outcomes:

- Big back-bill, and I'll still get billed for 'Unit H' even after I call my Landlord.
- Big Back-bill and everything returns to normal.

Guess which one I'm betting is more likely to happen.....

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Leftover Chinese Gets Lost

Since Labor day weekend, I've been desperately trying to catch up on episodes of Lost. I'm seven episodes into the second season and it looks like I might catch the rest before next week's season premiere (despite my Wednesdays being usually booked). I just need to borrow somebody's disc 3 of the set. I couldn't back up the disc I borrowed this past weekend. When you're watching about 2-3 episodes every two days and sometimes four a day on weekends, everything blends into one long, drawn out episode. They did a great job with continuity.

I'm half tempted to avoid watching the upcoming season to wait for the DVD, but that probably won't happen. I don't think I've ever been this interested in a tv show...

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Leftover Chinese Gives you the Update

Looks like the web log is starting to slow down what with me seemingly having to always be places doing things, but let's talk about recent lessons learned each day since we last spoke.

Thursday nights are quietly becoming known as the night we play a game of dominoes. Taught to me and my friend Jacob by our west coast friends back in college, we've taken it upon ourselves to teach those interested around here. My friends Soup and JP are numbers folks, so a game of dominoes with them is less a social fare than an exercise in counting, plotting, statistical analysis, and having to keep looking two to three rounds in advance. Long gone are the days my friend Adam would use dominoes as an arena to introduce us to bay area rap.

Wednesday night meant a break from the normal routine to see both Dragonforce and Mark Mallman on the same night (different venues). The night featured a lot of finger tapping, hair, laughs, and uncomfortable moments such as the lead singer of Dragonforce instructing the entire venue to call his bass player 'gay' and Mark Mallman re-starting a song three times because the new drummer couldn't figure out the click track. I guess you had to be there.

That's two METAL shows attended in a week if you're scoring at home. Part of me wants to start a METAL band called vengeance Quest. Who's with me?

Tuesday night featured closing up watching season one of ABC's 'Lost'. That show is so addicting, you wonder if they use subliminal messages, or just have a really good group of writers. It's probably a bit of both. There's still plenty of catching up to do.

Monday night left me feeling a bit of self-doubt when it comes to making public comments. In giving a podcast interview, I found myself measuring each word before actually speaking...then immediately feeling like an idiot as soon as I closed my mouth. Yet, when no question was being posed I felt at ease and was very jovial with the host. In attempting to not sound like a jag, I probably made the situation even worse.

Sunday was the first pure day off in a long time. It felt good.

Saturday was a hell of a time...saw some friends, went running, ate chicken nuggets and hashbrowns at 2:30 am. Good times.

Friday was a fiesta. The restaurant I dined at double booked mariachi bands and we were hoping for a showdown. However, all we got was a few handshakes and a seamless transition from mariachi music to...mariachi music.

So that's about it. The cat vomited a few more times so the wet food experiment is not going as well as planned. The fantasy football teams underachieve each week and I'm way behind on new music released so far this year.

Yeah, that's about it. We'll resume pointless anecdotes in a short while...

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Leftover Chinese Goes to the Metal Show


That's three, possibly four heads on the wolf, or antelope, or deer....I suppose it's better than using an acutal Mastodon.

I saw Mastodon this evening and took this picture after the show. The show was too awesome to capture on a cellphone camera, so just use your imagination as to what it was like inside. Nine hundred ninety-nine metal aficionados joined the dudes in the band having a grand old time playing loud, screeching metal. The guy on vocals/bass was pretty good. The guy on lead guitars/vocals was even better. From the second floor, you could see the mass of humanity down below moshing away like it was 1991. I think the guitar solo is coming back...just you watch.

Now, I say nine-hundred-ninety-nine because I stood by a couple on a date where the woman was definitely not in her, shall we say...element. She eventually huddled herself in a corner and glued her face to her phone. Her dorky looking boyfriend obsessively checked to see where she was and eventually sent this text to be received 10 feet away (which I spied upon):

"Stop texting and come watch the show. Next time you take me somewhere I don't want to be, I'll be texting the whole time."

Lessons here:
- Don't take your girl to a metal show and expect her to stand next to you the whole time if she's not the least bit into it.
- If you attend a metal show, you're there for the metal. You didn't pay the money to monitor your companion's disinterested demeanor.
- Grow up, dude. Just because she doesn't like the show doesn't mean you have to punish her "next time."
- Bickering by text? Really? So it's come to this, eh?

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Leftover Chinese Makes it Official

After over a year and almost a half of denial, I've accepted it...I'm a pet owner.

Cat Bolg.

I guess it didn't matter that I've been to the vet more times in the last year than I've been to the doctor, dentist, podiatrist, etc. in the last ten combined. I was just following protocol.

Ladies show up and gush over how 'cute' and 'friendly' the little mammal appears to be. He plays 'fetch' once in a while, begs for scraps when I'm eating, and his favorite game is 'chase after me'. He's sort of a novelty act. I've had no problems save a plant or two meeting an untimely death and the occasional 'oops' when the guy was learning how to act human. He's usually receptive to strangers and cat-haters actually like him.

Of course, it all changed when I got home from work.

The cat seemed quieter and less excited than usual. I checked the food dish and the 'wet' food I dispensed at the urging of my vet was mostly consumed. Hmmm. It was time to enjoy my thirty minutes of free time for the day and I settled on the couch and noticed something fishy...

Hey look, piles of cat vomit scattered around the living room!

Nothing in the tile floor, nothing on the couches, nothing in the bathroom. Just a good ol' fashioned bout of indigestion and none of it on a smooth surface. Time to get some carpet cleaner and possibly buy a new cheap rug.

The honeymoon was fun while it lasted and with it goes my plan to possibly get the lil guy a roommate. One cat is more than enough.

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Leftover Chinese Toes the Smooth Company Line

So the bosses got back from the annual company "world conference" and with their usual stories to tell and complaints that employees have to pay their own way to what amounts to an extended networking / binge session, I had to ask about the special musical guest.

Last year, the company hired Loggins & Messina. My boss said he was holding out hope that he'd hear the theme from Caddyshack, but it didn't happen. Loggins and Messina stuck to their classics and by doing so, lost the attention of any employee who started paying attention after 1981.



The significance of that reunion didn't really mean much to me until started watching Channel101's Yacht Rock; a show that weaves stories around actual facts about a certain segment of the late 70's early 80's soft rock scene. Most the episodes are ten minute riots.

Anyway, this year's musical guest:


Doobie Brothers featuring Michael McDonald; another featured band in the Yacht Rock saga.

I guess more people were into the act than last year and the McDonald songs got the most response. I didn't ask if they played 'China Grove' (see june's post about going to see Steely Dan), but they pleased more people with this choice.

Rumor has it next year's convention might be here. If they hire Toto or Chicago, I'm signing on. I guess I work in the business world's equivalent of smooth rock. Hmmm.

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Leftover Chinese Thinks The Smell is Odd

In masking various classic apartment odors, I utilize the Glade brand Plug-in's with various scents depending on what seems like a good idea at the time. The basic odors like citrus, potpourri, country fresh, etc. Are pretty inoffensive. On my last pass through the smell aisle, I picked up 'Linen Fresh'. I think the scent is supposed to smell like sun-dried linens...

In the real world my kitchen smells as if somebody opened up a bottle of liquid fabric softener and poured it in the corner. Sometimes it smells as if somebody put Snuggle the Bear through the wood chipper. I think I'll go back to the classics.

Other strange Plug-Ins they should attempt to sell:

- Chicken Broth
- Tire Store
- Fresh Asphalt
- New Baseball Glove
- Steak
- Bacon
- Hamburgers
- Bacon

There's probably more...

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Leftover Chinese Hears Itself

The local semi-alternative, semi-classic rock, semi-blues, semi-adult contemporary station played a band song this past week as part of their showcase on local music. The song is not part of the playlist and it's presented as sort of a radio informercial.

I tuned in. They plugged the upcoming CD release and next week's show.

The listening experience was both exciting and kind of weird. I imagine people stuck on the local expressways hearing the song play...or the people stuck on my street in annoying weekend traffic. The song could have either brightened their day or made them feel more homicidal. Hmmm. They followed today's capsule with 'Purple Haze'. That was more strange. I wonder what the typical audience was back in the pre I-Pod world.

While growing up I usually changed the channel if a radio station did a local showcase. I just wanted to hear more Van Halen. Perhaps the mid-90's music landscape back in Milwaukee sucked, but I definitely didn't appreciate the fact local radio stations were nice enough to help bands get heard. My ignorance knew no bounds back then. Oh well. Live and learn...

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Leftover Chinese Closes Summer

Not being much of a recapper in the last year or so, I'm hesitant to do a summer summary. However it's worth jogging my neurotic memory with my day planner in front of me to see what lessons, if any, I did learn between the bookmark holidays..

...meh, nevermind. I'm enjoying things too much to be cynical. Good times.

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Leftover Chinese Asks the Easy Question

Riding north on the two way street, I found myself in a situation common to pretty much everybody who rides their bike in the city: Approaching a four-way intersection with a city bus approaching fast from behind on the supposed bike lane.

So what did I do?

I ignored the stop signs and sailed through the intersection knowing that the absence of cars to the east or west of me meant I wouldn't be slowing down traffic or putting myself in harm's way. That and I enjoy having as much space as possible between myself and the city bus.

So what did the approaching eastbound pedestrian say from twenty feet to the west?

"Bikers have stop signs too, asshole."

The easy question: Why the profanity?

The guy's civics lesson was correct and I appreciate the suggestion...but that's no reason to call somebody an asshole...and on the lord's day, too. For shame...

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