Leftover Chinese Closes up Serious Month

Ah yes the air has been getting heavy this month, but spring might be showing up and the clocks jump ahead in a few days. Time for some fun, but first...let's close off SERIOUS MONTH. My parents mean well and provided mightily to get me to where I am today. I mean, shit...I consider myself very lucky to have been born into the family that I currently have. But I'll still present to you things I didn't really need to hear from my parents while growing up (life era in parentheses). Short rebuttal follows.

"Why do you have to be so idealistic?"
(Post-College)
Ambition.

"You know that space shuttle that crashed over Texas because God punished the Israelite for what they're doing to Palestinians."
(Post-September 11th)
What?

"Are there going to be young African-Americans at there? Don't go!"
(Late High School)
Why?

"So? It's nice to have money so you can be happy! What wrong with wanting good things?"
(College to Present)
See it. Want it. Buy it. Own it.

"Why do you have to be so idealistic?"
(Post-College)
Repeat.

"No, you can't play with your friends today. It's too cold."
(Elementary School)
They'll mock me.

"No, you can't take tennis lessons/piano lessons/or attend basketball tryouts. I don't like driving at night/in the winter."
(Ages 10-16)
Development.

"Why not an A?"
(Education)
Because.

"Don't take taxi cabs, walk around the city, or stay out at night."
(Chicago)
Sure.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom in the morning?!?!? How many times a day do move your bowels?!!"
(Age 10)
Sitting in one stall, my dad berated me from the sink area because I sucumed to diarrhea on a family shopping roadtrip to down town Chicago while a dude was in the next stall...more funny than embarrassing. I didn't have to see the guy walk out of the bathroom. My father, on the other hand, did.

"Are you 'monkeying around' in the basement with her?"
(Adolescence)
Uh.

"We're getting you a Nintendo because you're always over at Jimmy's house."
(Second Grade)
Attention span shot by age 10.

"What can I say? She wants the Viagra."
(Spring Break)
Hah.

[Well...that wasn't said by my father, but I was at the office one day during spring break when an elderly couple walked out of his consultation room.]

"So you're not with her anymore?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
(Every time it happens)
Thanks.

"What happened to her? Why not her?"
"Last month you were happy we broke up."
"No I wasn't."
(Every time it happens)
Thanks (again).

...and I STILL turned out the way I did. Happy SERIOUS MONTH.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Be All Talking Race Again

I thought I had only one post left in me on SERIOUS MONTH, but this one's too funny not to post about. The day job has been less than engaging lately (not that I'm out of things to do) and on occasion, I'm left to find ways to distract myself. Key words of this post: Asian-American Male. Craigslist.

Today's distraction: Craigslist. I was posting under "men seeking women"...because what good is it to have a male pen-pal at age twenty-seven? Trading e-mails with a complete stranger can be a good time if both people are bored and have a story to share. It's pretty harmless fun in my opinion...and on the tiny chance that something comes out of it...so be it, but remember, it's Lenten season and I swore off dating, so I'm definitely not in the market for anything.

Title: Lets Kill Some Time

Body: because I know you're as bored as I am right now. Work, e-mail, work, e-mail, work, e-mail etc. etc.

me: 27. Decently employed. Sometimes known as that that guy on the train who should introduce himself to you. more to life than work and so on and so forth.

Clearly I'm not looking for love here...or even a date. Just need a distraction to get through the day and I'll be damned if I don't get a good story or two out of this.

I get back from lunch and this is in the inbox:

>From: nld dek
>To: leftover chinese
>Subject: Reply.
>Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 12:49:16 -0600
>
>Well then - TAG - you're it! :)
>

Sounds innocent and fun enough. Let's play along.

>On 3/28/06, Leftover Chinese wrote:
>
>TAG...you're it. NO TAGBACKS!
>
>What's going on? hows tuesday treating you?

Two Minutes later:

>From: nld dek
>To: leftover chinese
>Subject: Re: Reply.
>Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 13:20:00 -0600
>
>Tuesday is going relatively well - actually productive today! :)

Okay...quick on the draw, but I'm bored, so I answer back:

>On 3/28/06, Leftover Chinese wrote:
>
>not that I have nothing to do, but i have plenty of time to wait for
>things to come up...you know..the usual.
>
>so what's your story?

An innocent query. Time killed so far? 20 minutes.


>From: nld dek
>To: leftover chinese
>Subject: Re: Reply.
>Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 13:24:07 -0600
>
>my story? 22 year old, paralega[sic], going back to school for my MBA - puppy
>named cosmo - redhead ;)
>
>your story?

Oooh. The emoticon. That means she winked at me because she's a flirty redhead...again, quick to the draw, but my new penpal seems game to kill some time. Time to tell my story with as few words as possible.


>On 3/28/06, Leftover Chinese wrote:
>
>yay redheads! 27 year old, real estate.
>musician when I'm not killing time at work...
>

It's simple and I give a quick shout-out to redheads of America without sounding too creepy. The basics are out of the way, let's have a few laughs....

>From: nld dek
>To: Leftover Chinese
>Subject: Re: Reply.
>Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 13:26:26 -0600
>
>are you a red head too?? :)

Another smile. Another question. Where do I go from here? Let's throw out some flattery and a little hint of what she's talking to:

>On 3/28/06, Leftover Chinese wrote:
>
>no...i'm just partial to redheads for no particular reason...far from
>redhead actually...i'm not even white.

Two truths right there. Nothing of substance being discussed and I'm starting to get bored with the conversation....

>From: nld dek
>To: Leftover Chinese
>Subject: Re: Reply.
>Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 13:29:00 -0600
>
>oh really? well then what are you?

What am I? What does that mean? Am I human? Country of origin? Time to throw out another truth:

>On 3/28/06, Leftover Chinese wrote:
>
>I think the term is 'Asian-American'

......and...scene.

Apparently, I can't have a pleasant electronic conversation with a stranger because I don't look like everybody else. I pretty much saw the end of this conversation coming from the start. I guess that killed a few minutes, so I shouldn't complain, right?

I'm not saying it's the end of the world, and by means am I saying all people are racist towards Asian American Males and I definitely know that there are other groups that have it way, way harder than the Lees, Parks, and Changs of the world...but that doesn't mean we're in the clear.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Left a Sandwich Behind

Have you ever wondered what happens to food left in the company refrigerator over the course of a weekend? Does the maintenance staff pick through it? Do the leftover items get together and quietly share stories of abandonment? What's the oldest item in the ice box?

Semper Fi, ham sandwich. You'll get a proper burial tomorrow.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Wonders What Hope Remains in Montana

On a six-month old recommendation from Dan, I picked up Jared Diamond's Collapse and am one chapter into it. Early on, it feels like a 'henny penny, the sky is falling' kind of book but it is very informative.

The first case study I've read is about Montana. Apparently the state is showing sure-fire signs of societal collapse, albeit mildly. More people are moving into the western side of the state thereby depleting resources that are already under duress. Ranchers and farmers are suffering shrinking profit margins and with rich people moving into the Western part of the state, many are forced (read: priced out) to sell their land for development into subdivisions. The rivers are drying up, the dams are old and hazardous, and the mines are mostly abandoned toxic wastelands. The points are valid, logical and I'm interested to see what Diamond finds in his study of past civilizations...but let's visit the sentence that really stuck out at me this morning and is indicative of life in Montana for long time residents:

"If Huey Lewis' land across the street got subdivided into house lots, I couldn't stand the sight facing me every day, and I would move."

Hold on to that land, Huey...the people of Montana need you.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Reflects on his Duty to Democracy

The people got to do some speaking today. After tonight, the pool of candidates for office up for grabs gets pared down to finalists. Let the excessive spending and negative ads begin. With Young Jeezy ringing in my ears, I threw a hasty signature on the registration card and picked from a pool names.

That was just it. Names.

I probably couldn't tell you who the hell got my vote. Besides the folks who ran unopposed within the party and Forrest Claypool, whom I've read a newspaper article or two about, I don't really know who I was voting for. My decisions were wholly uninformed and I decided on names that sounded worthy of an office door or desk plaque.

So...despite the fact that I did cast a ballot, did I do America a disservice and throw my vote away? Is it worse for one to make uninformed decisions rather than not vote at all? If a few thousand people in a similar position mark the ballot randomly, who really wins? Will more people call American Idol tonight and cast a vote than the registered voters of America? Probably.

My voice and vote count...but I can still waste that right. America!

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Talks Slef Improvement

We're halfway through SERIOUS MONTH and I have three posts to show for it. Must be a heavy month.

Let's talk self improvement. If I improve myself, I improve the world around me...I think. People always say they try to get better on a daily basis. Some people even do more than just talk about getting better. Well. Let's talk about my attempts at slef improvement...I'm giving them a good try.

Things I've been doing since this year started

- Walking. Whether it's using the stairs next to the escalator at work or taking a few hours to aimlessly wander around my immediate area, I've found it to be an ample substitute for an expensive gym membership. I find the long walks home from a different train station to have a calming effect on me overall. It's much more convenient than scheduling a workout and I get to dodge cars during rush hour. Good times.

- Reading. Since early in the year, I've consumed: Ghost Rider, Kafka on the Shore, Norwegian Wood, and I'm laboring through The Devil in the White City. The first three in the list (I recommend) seem to involve some form of self-improvement...which is probably why I'm on this 'get better at stuff' kick. If I complete the fourth book, that quadruples the number of books I read in 2005. Anyway, the reading has helped me clear my mind. My thought process seems sharper and a more academic. I think I'm on to something here.

Things I've been doing since this month started

- The Natural Alarm Clock. Since I moved down here I've routinely ignored my body when it would wake me up earlier than I wanted to get up. I'd force myself to sleep another hour. The extra hour was usually bad sleep and I always felt just as tired. Lately, I've been pulling myself out of bed after six and a half hours of sleep. Mornings are much more tolerable this way.

- Writing. On paper. I went to the store and got myself a pencil sharpener, some paper and envelopes. I'm going to start writing letters to friends in other places. Communicating by e-mail is nice, but there's no emotion; no warmth to the words. It's been months since I've spoken to a lot of people so I'm thinking information in a letter can wait a few days to get there. Let me know if you want a hand-written letter. I need the practice.

- Eating One Less Sandwich. Spending seven dollars a day on lunch started to feel illogical, so I started packing a lunch last fall. I usually made two sandwiches and a bag of chips. Turns out they were big meals, so I cut back...and added a slice of tomato. I defintely feel 'lighter' these days.

- Showing Up to Work Early. I work at an 8:30 - 5:30 office. My usual routine has been 9-ish to 5-ish. Not that I care too much about my job, but the day is easier when I get there at 8. It works with my 1am - 7am sleep pattern.

- Social Drinking. I haven't been seriously hammered this month...well, maybe Sunday night after a show. Regardless, I find it's easier to be sociable when you don't get three sheets to the wind every time you go out. The mornings are easier and the body feels better. Who'd have thunk it?

- The Internet. Seriously...who REALLY needs this to pass the time?

Things Hope to do After Today

- More Running. I say that every year and I will cobble together a few good stretches of running. It's just that I have to keep reminding myself that I like to run.

- The Internet. Seriously...who REALLY needs this to pass the time?

- More Milwaukee. I've got some great friends I rarely see these days. I'm seemingly most comfortable when I up there and it's never a bad time. I'm always in my element when I visit Milwaukee. You should meet the "milwaukee me" sometime. He's a hoot.

- Tennis. My folks spent an awful lot of money so I could finish my senior year in high school on the junior varsity tennis team. The least I can do is play once in a while.

- Talk to Strangers. Hell...I need talk to friends more. It seems so easy to do when you're on vacation. You think you could pull it off when you're at home, but everybody seems to put up a wall in the city...or I'm the one who erected the wall. Hmmm...

- Study Things. 9 to 5 office jobs seem designed to turn people into machines. If all you have to worry about is your job, you need not worry about anything going on in the world. That's not good enough. More books. Books. Books.

- The Fair Sex. I'm not looking for anything, but a date once in a while would be nice. I need to...um...try.

- The Telephone. In my adult life, I've conducted two lengthy medium-distance relationships over the telephone. Many hours a week spent on the telephone talking about nothing and everything. Since the last telephone relationship ended a few years ago, I've endured a serious phobia of the telephone. It's to the point that other than my parents and family, I dislike having conversations on the telephone with anybody. I'm usually short, awkward, and probably rude. "Yeah. Hi. I'll be there. Bye." I don't even like calling people just to say "hello." These days when I do want to call somebody to say 'hello', I'm habitually short, awkward, and probably rude. What gives? Let's fix that first.

That's all I can come up with. Suggestions welcome.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Chronicles the Last Eight Days

People ask the question: "So...what do you do?" I try to cover the bases and throw out 'music' or 'commercial real estate' or 'pretty busy most of the time' but I'm finding it harder and harder to explain to people what exactly it is I do. There are some days where I even ask myself the same question. Perhaps I throw a quick recap of the last eight days to show you what it is "I do." You know how I do.

The following is an atypical, but characteristic, recap of the past week.

March 5
Woke up early. Did some reading. Band Practice. Back home to suffer through a slight headache.

March 6
Get to work at 8am. Rushed to complete something for a big money client. Spent the afternoon getting work done for another client. Two Burgers at McDonalds. Band Practice. Read. Sleep.

March 7
Get to work at 8am. Pacified one client. Kept a process going on another issue. Helped co-worker on things to take care of in my absence. Quick dinner. Band practice. Read. Sleep.

March 8
Get to work at 8am. Finished work for one client. Met former roommate for lunch. Tied up loose ends. Left for the airport. Spent 90 extra minutes on delay time. Get to Las Vegas an hour late. Continued a conversation with an intense Las Vegas tourist from Cleveland so my parents wouldn't get too scared. Dinner 9pm PST with relatives I haven't seen since 1995. Pai Gow. Sleep 4 am CST.

March 9
Wake up at 8am PST. Swallow quick breakfast. Explain to aunts why I don't eat hard boiled egg yolks and what it is I'm doing that is causing me to miss my cousin's actual wedding.


Eighteen holes of bad golf with great laughs.

Quick snack. Nap. Pai Gow. Eventful Bachelor Party wherein the future groom earns my respect. Sleep 5am CST.

March 10


The strip. Video Poker. Brunch. Casino War. Rehearsal Dinner at Olive Garden. More gambling. 10 frames at the bowling alley. Say farewell to future groom and my cousin's roomates. Sleep 4am CST.

March 11

Wake up at 7am PST.


Take picture of sign on the way to the airport.

Land in Chicago at 3pm CST. Arrive at venue 4pm CST.


Reconnect with Band folks. Sound check. Dinner. Show. Finally home at 10pm CST.

March 12
Awake at 11am.


Drive to suburbs for Japanese all-you-can-eat buffet.

Get home at 4pm CST.


Load out 7pm CST. Venue. Late show.

Home at 1am CST. Sleep at 3am CST.

Throw in the interactions, handshakes, hugs, lessons...you've got my world. What is it I do?

Quite a bit of everything.

Lessons I've learned?

1. Strippers are dirty.
2. Never play casino war.
3. Keep in touch with similar aged cousins becuause they lead interesting lives, too.
4. I'm probably too old to be wearing a wife-beater T-shirt out in public.
5. Music is fun.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Quantifies his Life

SERIOUS MONTH takes another step; spending the better part of this Friday evening working with currency numbers. The easy task was the taxes. I'm not big into figuring out exact deductions, so I do the bear minimum when it comes to filing. I withhold from my paycheck during the year and I go by the book come tax time. Easy come, easy go. Gazing at the numbers on my W-2 form, I decided to do some exploration...

Two and a half hours later, my lifestyle costs are summarized on three pieces of lined, yellow paper. My living situation has a number. Grocery store costs can be compared to restaurant costs. The rest of the lifestyle is now packaged in a neat little figure. Realistic savings goals have emerged and scenarios are plotted out. Knowing these approximations pretty much counters my general attitude toward my budget.

Why? How?

I've always been a "don't pay attention to the hard numbers, just pay the bills and be able to put some aside" kind of guy. Having enough to eat and entertain myself is all I try to do with my salary. Now that I have hard figures in my head, it seems I eat and entertain quite a bit. Time to tighten up a few screws...

Try it some time. You'll learn a lot about yourself...

Edit: Give it a half-assed try here here. Self explanatory but probably confusing.

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .

Leftover Chinese Thinks Aloud

Remember when last month was infrequently Asked Question month? Well, I'm flipping the script. I used to cringe when I would read about peoples' personal issues on their blogs. I think a web log is neither the time nor the place for therapy. I think I'm just running away from myself. So...Guess what? I'm going to challenge myself that I can get personal without getting into detail.

Welcome to 'SERIOUS MONTH' Which might also be known as 'ALIENATE PEOPLE MONTH'

So today is Ash Wednesday. I'll spare you the my thoughts because I've already shared them. Two years ago I said that if you're going to give up something, give it up for good. Well, I back off my comments about that. Perhaps you give up something for a long time and go back to it when you don't feel that you need it around?

I've always wondered why people usually sacrifice a physical habit. Nobody every says they'll give up yelling at their children in public...or literacy. People always shake their head when I say things such as "I'm giving up Tequila" (that which I never imbibe) or "I'm giving up speaking English." I'm an ass.

Let's try something new this year. Let's play 'Make a Personal Sacrifice for a few Months!' Self-improvement can happen through sacrifice and I'm all about getting better these days, so here goes:

Leftover Chinese temporaily renounces the endless search for companionship and its possible eventual path to True Love

Whether it's fantasizing about something you want to do with someone you can picture in your head, the occasional re-living of conversations that you had with the last person you actually loved, starting arguments just to win them, breaking your toys becuase you have a new little sibling, or just plain flirting, everybody and their mother is obsessed with the need to feel some form of love by someone...anyone.

Does it have to be that way? The past few months I've been looking for dates and flirting with all that companionship jazz. I'm don't think I'm finding what I really want...but do I even need to look specifically for love right now?

Let's take a look the current situation in my universe. I've got overbearing, but extremely loving parents, siblings who care, an amazing group of friends always looking out for each other, music, and a few weeks ago a niece said "I wuv you, Tito ed." (Tito = tagalog for Uncle)

Considering how much love is thrown around my universe, do I really need to look for somebody to hold me and tell me that 'everything will be okay, you're okay'? Do I have reason to seek validation and comfort in someone else's arms? Not exactly. There's a lot of love in the world already...why am I looking for more?

I guess I could be useful in giving somebody the love that they seek, but I think I'll make myself a better person first (see selfish attitude above). That's a whole other jar of liquid bees. We'll get to that next.

So...the search is off for a while. If trouble (or so-called love) finds me, so be it...but right now I'm just going to make myself and the world a better place.

SERIOUS MONTH

. . [~] . 0 (Grumble) Grumbles .