Leftover Chinese Looks at 2005 for a Second

...looks good.

2005 Resolutions:

1. Get off my ass
2. Take some initiative
3. Budget
4. Meditate
5. Open doors and windows when necessary

Some of that happened this year...and I can honestly say 2005 has been one of the best so far. Yay.

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Leftover Chinese Sets the Table


Let the family gathering begin. Food. Conversation. Screaming Kids. Gifts.

Happy Holiays

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Leftover Chinese Looks at the Family Christmas Tree


Tree

Earlier in the day, my family faced the wrath of a rude Church usher. Before the service, the man ordered my sister-in-law with baby in tow to return a borrowed chair. It didn't matter than another usher had brought the chair into to the church for my sister-in-law. During the service the man lectured a group of us occupying the stairwell. He mentioned something about violating fire code. I'm pretty sure the priest was talking at the time. After the mass, he watched and made sure that the chair was returned...thus intimidating my sister-in-law to carry out his wishes.

Dude gets 'grinch of the year'.

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Leftoverchinese Chuckles


I laughed.

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Leftover Chinese Makes the Same Mistake Three Times

I'm kind of embarrased about the first one. It was pretty disrepectful the second time. The third time was totally unnecessary. Welcome to the last seventy five minutes of my work day. It's probably not a big deal, but when you use the wrong name when addressing somebody with whom you've worked since mid-2004 three times, it's probably time to start using first names more often. In almost every social situation, I rarely use a person's name. I usually use nouns or just plain 'hey'. Hey you...if you talk to me in the next few weeks, I'll try to say your name twice in the conversation.

I should also quit babbling when I've made my point. It would have saved me three mistakes.

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Leftover Chinese Stays Up Really, Really Late


You bet your ass I gave the prime-rib serious consideration. If they had listed the trimmings on the board, I'd have gone ahead and ordred the whole thing. The cornedbeef hash and eggs were a worthy alternative.

In taking part on entertaining a hometown acquaintence, I managed to turn a quiet saturday night of playing Sorry! at a neighborhood tavern into a four person slumber party. I blame the back-to-back viewings of the R. Kelly opera. The clock showed 4:30 am by the time the commentary version was over. Time flies when R. Kelly educates you about cliffhangers. R. Kelly 1 - Leftoverchinese 0.

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Leftover Chinese Thinks Water Will Ultimately Lead to the Destruction of Society

Freezing rain and 20 degree temperatures in the Carolinas?
The snowstorm that forced South Dakota to close its entire interstate?
Blizzards All over the Place?

I'm just talking about the last month...

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LeftoverChinese Apparently Looks Like a Woman

So Petecroke.com has been toying with myheritage.com's facial recognition thing.

I'm not quite sure what the point is, or how it works...but you can 'demo' the program and see which celebrity has similar facial features. After a few tries Pete couldn't match up with anybody. So he tossed in a picture of him and his girlfriend, Jane. The program apparently bypassed Pete and Jane and picked me out of the background and matched me to...Nicole Kidman.

Curious, I thought I'd give this a try, too. I mean, why would I look like Nicole Kidman? I'm...not quite simliar to her in many ways; namely my gender, skin color, and obvious weight advantage.

So, I used an obnoxious picture of myself and gave it a whirl. I figure if they get a close-up, I would match up with somebody else.



If you look at pete's post, you'll notice they even changed the angle of Nicole's face. I investigated further to see who else matches closest to me and got: Denzel.

I guess the lesson is: compared against 2,400 celebrities faces...I'm either pretty or handsome. You make the call.

Ironic Moment of Truth: Back in college, I dated a girl whom people said looked similar to Nicole. I guess it was their polite way to say that I, in fact, looked like a pretty Australian woman.

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Leftover Chinese is Tired

Additional sleep isn't the answer, though. I just lay low for a night and let inactivity = rest. Couch time is quality time. Anywho, OhioSnap has been crashing at the apartment the last few days. I haven't been in a roomate-type situation since 2001. I realize now how anti-social the last four years have made me. As much as I like being alone, a constant social situation is good once in a while. Yeah....that one was obvious.

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Leftover Chinese Gets Sucked into the Day Job



A minimum of one night a year is extended time with the daytime cast of characters. Everybody wear suits and plays nice. I forgot my suit. People shake hands and discuss topics such as cars, houses, and children. I have a modest car, no house or children. People float from conversation to conversation practicing the art of small talk. I suck at small talk, but I have a knack for helping people ramble on and on. If it gets late enough, people say things they shouldn't be saying. This is when they say too much. Happy holidays, Corporate America. Let the information fly.

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Leftover Chinese Wishes He Had a Cool Name


I found this during the course of my day so don't tell anybody I did this.

Think of the type of person who gets this printed on offical documents. Think of the possiblities if you had such a name. If I ever write a novel, screenplay, or adult film script, I'm using this guy's name. I could use lines like: "My name is [first name], but you can call me [last name]." or "My name is [last name], but you can call me [first name]." Use your imagination. I'm pretty sure this is a real name.

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Leftover Chinese Moves an Aquarium


The much neglected aquarium got a move into prime viewing. Moving an aquarium is probably the least fun thing to do. Everything gets a thorough cleaning and at least one sock steps into a mini-puddle. I can start paying attention to the fish again...once I buy new ones.

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Leftover Chinese Watches Snow


Quick but harmless snowfall. This took about ninety minutes.

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Leftover Chinese Stands and Looks Around


The billboard reminded me of a send-up done on the Family Guy. Diamonds = Sex.

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Leftover Chinese Doesn't Warp


"Thank you for saving me, Mario Mario. For that, you get to turn around and start all over again...but this time around, you start at the world of your choice and the walking mushrooms are replaced with indestructible snails."

Thanks a lot, Princess. We bust our asses cheating death over and over again so you can make us go back and do it all over again. We just saved you. You want to stay in this cold but sparkling clean dungeon? I expected more.

In reality, the first time our family beat the game was after Joey came over to show us how to do it. I saw how was done and replicated the feat a day later. We left the TV on to show my dad when he got home from work. He seemed impressed when he saw it. I think it was summer time. I should have been outside.

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