CHICKEN FRIED RICE
I don’t go by the numbers when I cook, so I’ll list the ingredients and somewhat of a process. You can figure out the rest.
Ingredients
- White Rice (cooled)
- Chicken (diced)
- Garlic (minced)
- Onion (diced)
- Sesame Oil
- Green Onions (makes it feel like the real thing)
- Mushrooms (pictured/optional)
- Baby Corn (pictured/optional)
- Other Vegetables you like to see in a fried rice (bean sprouts, corn, carrots, peas, etc.)
- Egg
- Soy Sauce
- Salt and Pepper
- Chicken Broth (optional)
Process
Turn on radio or television in kitchen. Tune to decent idle programming. If there’s somebody in the kitchen with you, make sure you engage them in conversation while trying not to cut yourself. Suggested topics include the weather, politics, deep-seated fears, or whatever sporting events might be of current interest.
Heat Oil (medium to medium-hi) in a skillet (or wok if you’re into that thing) with the minced garlic. When garlic is browned, add chicken, onions, and a few teaspoons (or tablespoons) of soy sauce.
When the chicken is browned say aloud: “Okay, I’m gonna add the vegetables now.” Add the mushrooms, baby corn, and other vegetables; but save the green onions for last. Pour in a little chicken broth, cover and let simmer for a few moments.
This is a perfect time to change topics to that of personal matters. Do you have a bone to pick or a rude suggestion? Since you likely invited that guest over to dine, the least they can do is accept your criticism or suggestion with aplomb. Say your piece, wait until the awkward pause lasts a little too long, then smile and say: “oh, time to add the rice! This smells pretty good, eh?”
Add rice. Mix rice into current mixture and add a few more tablespoons of soy sauce. This is the tricky part because you don’t want to ‘overseason’ the rice but you want it to be brown enough to seem like it was made at a restaurant. Trial and error is a good way to go about this…but don’t let the guest know that. You can’t show any sign of weakness.
At this point, you’ll have the rice and ingredients mixed nicely and cooked to a nice brown. Push the rice to one end of the skillet (or wok, you pandering jerk) and cook the (opened) egg on the bared part of the skillet. Allow egg to cook and scramble for a few moments before mixing back into the fried rice. Maybe add a pinch of pepper or salt for good measure.
Add the green onions, stir, and tell your house guest you were just kidding about what you said earlier; apologize for having run out of facial tissues.
Turn off stove and serve.
